No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Tip]
Admit When Wrong
Do you know anyone who has “chronic foot in the mouth syndrome”? You know, someone who has a bad habit of saying something that really should have remained silent. The wrong thing at the wrong time. How about someone who has a tendency to do things which seemingly promote unnecessary friction inside their relationship? If that sounds like you, maybe today is your day to make things right…
[First]
If there is one thing you could learn in your marriage to minimize frustration, perhaps it is this: be careful with what you “say” and what you “do”. Plus, begin to notice how your “words” and “deeds” impact your life partner, positively or negatively. What you say and do has an “impact” on your other half.
Christian marriage consists of one “imperfect husband” and one “imperfect wife”, united with a bond of “love”. Every couple will generally go through some form of a ‘learning curve”, getting to really know their spouse over time. Ultimately, marriage should involve both partners feeling connected and responsible.
Never try to “win” an argument with the love of your life. You really do not ever have to be “right”, especially if and when your life partner is branded as “wrong”. Honestly, both of you should work together for a mutually beneficial decision whenever disagreement arises.
[Second]
Please make a strong effort starting today that you will try much harder to avoid saying or doing anything which is upsetting, disturbing, or disappointing to your loving spouse (even if unintentional). Of course, you will learn one another’s “buttons” over time. Your goal should be to “avoid” pressing them and provoking an “argument” or ugly “fight”.
Even if what you said or did was valid and correct, your “tone” or “attitude” may come off all wrong. Deep down inside you really love this wonderful person, right? So, why not offer your sincerest “apology” for causing any unwelcomed difficulty or misunderstandings. Then offer a hug, or kiss, or whatever else you feel appropriate for full-reconciliation.
I realize you likely do not want to apologize when you were “not” wrong. Just consider this approach like an “investment” into a “healthier” marriage. Even if and when you feel you were “totally right”, consider the possibility of “asking forgiveness”. Please understand that if your spouse was “genuinely hurt” by your words or deeds, you should feel obligated to make things right.
[Third]
Perhaps you are open to the idea of making your marriage the very best. That is great! Please pause for just a moment and consider what you have “recently” said and done. Then consider “how” your words and deeds could have possibly been misunderstood. Even your best intentions could get misconstrued from time to time.
Also, consider also what you “should have” said and done, but did not. Have you neglecting your duty as life “partner”, working “together” on everything? If so, now is a great time to develop and practice your apology. In the end, every wrong (real or perceived) followed by an apology (from the heart) should end up with you two love birds embracing.
If for any reason your apology does not seem to restore your intimate connection as before, consider reaching out to your pastor or a Christian friend within the church or community. Never forget your Heavenly Father wants the very best for both of you. Those who really care about you want this as well.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)