No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Connect]
Not Speaking Out Foolishly
Oh, how easy it seems to be for the wrong words to fly out of the mouth, and usually at the worst possible time (when someone else was listening). And then how difficult it seems to be to gather the right words to follow-up and restore the relationship. Some good advice I learned long ago: “Say only what you mean, and mean only what you say.” Just be careful to “say” things more lovingly and not be so “mean”.
[Part 1 – Topic]
Remember, you are far better off to have only “said” what was most necessary to have been “heard” by your spouse. The “long-winded” approach is generally never advisable. Even apologies should be straight to the point.
Please do your very best to never say something “foolish” to your spouse. This includes anything that would potentially be misunderstood or taken in a “negative” way. Consider “degrading remarks” and “unwelcomed nicknames” to be off your list.
Before starting to “argue” or “fight”, take a moment to clarify what you think you heard. Especially when you begin to get angry, be certain your soon-to-be-spoken-out-loud words are going to be supportive of the desired end result you prefer.
[Part 2 – Problem]
What should you do if your blood pressure is reaching the boiling point and you feel nearly ready to explode? In the case of “fight or flight”, consider what type of consequences may occur from either decision.
Now that you have said something that you wish so badly that you could just take back, how do you correct the error of your way? Maybe it is not too late to talk to “Doc Brown” and see if you could just “borrow his time machine” (and maybe do things entirely differently the second time around).
Foot in the mouth syndrome can be a real problem, especially when it becomes “chronic” (happening repeatedly). At some point you really need to ask yourself, “Will I ever get to sleep anywhere other than on the couch?”
[Part 3 – Solution]
During those highly stressful moments in your marriage, you may be far better off if you “bite your tongue” and go for a walk. This may not always send the right message, but it should at least keep the battle from escalating. If nothing else, you get a chance to “cool down”.
Once those undesirable words have come flying out of your mouth, the next logical step for you is to apologize for being so rude and insensitive. Hopefully this will help to keep both of you talking more calmly. And who knows, maybe even a bonus “kiss and make up” session could get scheduled for later.
Maybe you two love birds need some alone time, possibly even a “date night”. Whenever possible in your schedules, always make this time together “about both of you”, and not just good for one or the other.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)
Other resources which may be of interest…
FREE PDF:
“3 Things to Tell Your Spouse Tonight”
https://freebie.nohusbandleftbehind.com/3-things-to-tell-your-spouse-tonight
FREE WORKSHEET:
“Identifying Your Top 3 Must Haves”
https://worksheet.nohusbandleftbehind.com/identifying-your-top-3-must-haves