No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Challenge]
Respecting Your Spouse
Men and women seem to think and act differently. I am sure that should not come as any “new” revelation. Marriage should never be about one spouse being “right” while the other inadvertently has to be “wrong”. Learning to accept your other half, including those rough edges, will become your marital life mission.
Similar, Yet Different:
“Him” and “Her” — the “two” living as “one”. That is perhaps the ultimate goal for any marriage. What happens, though, when you have differences along the way. Please accept early on that some differences between the two of you are purely natural and okay. Maybe we should even encourage a little “diversity” within our home.
Look for common ground within your relationship. Be sure to focus on what you see as similar, not different. Remembering those “important” areas where you both agree should hopefully carry you through those other (less critical) times. Let us keep in mind that each decision should not be evaluated equally. Certain things should be simply a matter of choice, like eating ice cream (chocolate, vanilla or strawberry).
Allow the love of your life some freedom to think about what she feels is best, and allow her to then decide her own fate and destiny. Of course, you are her “man” and should always be there to catch her if she falls. Let’s not ever assume her “different” idea will not turn out to be the best one between the two of you. Also, be supportive when she decides on hobbies and interests, or joining a women’s group, or anything else which does not excite you.
Totally Different:
At times, even the best marriages will be put to the test. Being supportive, even when you are not completely on board with her choices. Even if you feel the need to “explain” yourself, consider giving her the time to share (while you hear her out). What sounded ridiculous the first time may sound a little less farfetched the next time. Making a strong attempt to listen and hear your wife will at the very least show her you care.
Please remember, you and her do not always have to love all the same things together. At times, you may even wind up arguing over some or all of your differences. If things get a little “heated” in conversation, you can often help by just walking away (and giving both of you a chance to cool down). You can always pick up the conversation later, after both of you have “digested” what the other was trying so hard to convey.
Forgive your other half, even when it hurts. Her love and willingness to be submissive to “the man of the house” should not entitle you to force her ideas out the window. Try to demonstrate your respect for her, as this may be the only way to prove your sincere love for her. As much as possible, celebrate your lives together, no matter what.
Moving Forward:
Starting today, begin talking about everything. Over time, she will begin to really know and understand what would make you happy and pleased, versus sad and disappointed. As her loving husband, be sure to reciprocate the favor (and hear her out). Do you already know what makes your wife happy and pleased? Do more of this. Do you also know what makes her sad and disappointed? Do less of that.
When times feel “low” in your marriage, try to remember why you married your sweetheart in the first place. Also, seeing the beautiful person God has created will help you remain more positive and grateful. May we never forget that love should grow stronger over time … perhaps even more so once you have learned to value that “unique” wife with whom you have been entrusted.
Lastly, when everything else fails, remember “prayer works”. Your Heavenly Father is ready to listen any time you are willing to “talk” or “vent”. Please keep in mind that your Creator knows everything about you and your wife. He is always the best Person to obtain advice for “living together in harmony”. So, when was the last time you prayed for your wife? How about for you, especially in the area of learning to “respect” her?
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)