No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Challenge]
Evaluating Finances
Regardless of how you spent “your” money in the past, today is a “new” day. You and your spouse need to take a moment and discuss how your “total” income is being utilized. As a Christian, this process may be even more critical, as you both need to “live” out the stellar lives which our Loving Creator has designed for each of you.
Together
To begin, let me emphasize that how you and your life partner decide to spend your income is completely up to the two of you, together. Honestly, there is really no “pressure” at all from us. By the way, there should never be any feeling of “guilt” from anyone, ever. The two of you are in the driver’s seat.
Let us be clear on the most important thing within marital finances. Both of you should be deciding where the money goes. The husband and the wife will need to work together, and maybe even compromise from time-to-time. Like I mentioned earlier, “where” you both decide to “spend” or “invest” your income is completely up to your discretion.
Take a moment with your other half and list out what both of you feel is critical, meaning what you cannot or should not live without. Try not to worry about how “long” the list becomes, you can always adjust (add or subtract) later on. The best part of this exercise is when both of you can come to an agreement on what is most important within your marriage.
Stewardship
As money comes and goes both to and from you, consider yourself appointed by Almighty God to “allocate” the resources which He has provided to you. Perhaps you may wish to see yourself as a “steward”, or even the “manager” of the income and resources which it buys. For those who end up being married for several decades, this could become quite a “large” amount. So, let us be careful of “where” and “how” we decide to allocate.
There are usually three general “buckets” or “categories” where money should be going (at least if they apply). Paying off yesterday’s debts, paying for today’s expenses, and setting aside something for tomorrow’s unknowns. If money is tight in your household right now, focus your energy first on keeping things moving today. You may have to postpone yesterday’s debts by paying some interest for now, and tomorrow’s investments with some potential lost gains. Yet, today is right before you now, and must continue to move forward with the necessary resources.
As Christians, we should always be in somewhat of a “giving” mode. Supporting your local church or charity is so worthwhile, even if you can only afford a small amount annually. Your generosity should help you feel better when you hear about someone else’s horrible situation being “corrected” by the caring individuals who contributed. Remember, you should never feel the need to “give” the money which is required to pay your own way.
Allocating
Even though you have the full responsibility for how your income is utilized, you should take a few minutes to look at what is really “most” important. This exercise really should happen before you begin spending any money on “payday”. You will hopefully always have enough (sufficient) to pay all of the bills. Perhaps we should consider what is generally approved as “essential”, as opposed to mere wants.
Once you both have listed out and agreed on your list of all your essentials, you will want to consider the absolute most important. Things like: food, clothing, shelter, transportation, utilities, insurance, etc. Stocking your home with enough food to carry you until your next “payday” will be very important. Having a place to live with basic services like water and electric should also be considered extremely important.
If you are frugal, your money will stretch further. Some of us have a tendency to look for specials (sale items, coupons, etc.). Please do not see any shame in stretching your resources for being able to purchase even more items for you and your loving spouse. Maybe even disciplining yourselves to cook and eat at home, at least one meal a day, which could provide you with a little extra cash (as opposed to eating out all the time).
One final thought, consider setting aside $1 every week (if not more), as your budget will allow. This very small amount will help you down the road when it becomes necessary to make one of those “larger” purchases (furniture, appliance, vehicle, etc.) Amazingly enough, you may even have enough to pay cash for the item in full. Of course, you and your main squeeze are in the driver’s seat, and are welcomed to do what you consider best. Just begin to imagine what becomes possible when both of you “agree” and work together.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)