No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Tip]
Honesty is Always Best
Ever know someone who tells you a “different” version of the same story with somewhat changing details? Perhaps the individual just wants to re-live the account somewhat differently each time around. On the other hand, it becomes very difficult to determine which parts “really” happened, and what details were added or changed over time.
Mind
Do you ever feel that it is better to just not bother telling your spouse those inner thoughts or ideas? Maybe it is a little easier to just simply do whatever she asks of you, her awesome husband. Holding back suggestions can be wise at certain times, but hopefully not throughout a marital lifetime.
When the love of your life asks you one of those annoying questions, how do you respond? Are you quick on your feet with an honest comeback? Or, do you need a few moments to be “crafty”? You do realize that if you are thinking up a “half-truth”, it may later be translated in to a “half-lie”.
Honesty really is the very best approach, especially if you are the type of person who cannot “remember” the lie you told yesterday, and the other lie from last week, and how about that other lie from last month? Every marriage is so much better when your mind is full of love and concern for your other half, not lies or half-truths or fiction.
Mouth
If you prepare yourself in advance, you may actually be ready to fully answer her questions with more than merely a confused look or sideways glance. Truly, you are so much better off just to tell her what she really needs to hear, the truth. Try to avoid ever having to “withhold” any significant information, regardless of what reasoning you may have.
When you open your mouth to answer her question as either “yes” or “no”, be ready to provide any “extra” details whenever the love of your life requests them of you. Be careful to always be “honest” and “truthful” upfront, never holding back on what she really needs to know about. You will be far better off if she is disappointed early, while you have time to apologize and make any necessary adjustments.
As a husband, I realize there can be times when you just tell her “yes” on the outside, while actually meaning “maybe” on the inside. Just to get her off your back, I understand. At some point, you actually do “intend” to get that project done for her. Maybe you should take a moment and tell her how much you love her, and look forward to spending your lives together. I am willing to bet, she would enjoy hearing that again.
Heart
Holding back anything from your life partner will not help with building intimacy and trust. That might sound a little direct or even harsh, but consider it for a moment. The more you get to know one another, the closer you become. Telling your adorable bride one thing while doing another just promotes confusion and frustration.
If you have to make a “quick” stop after work, be sure to communicate your intentions beforehand. Especially when you will likely be “late” for supper, a quick text or phone call can go a long way. Not really telling her where you actually go or whom you really go to see, well that can be another reason for broken (or at least questioned) trust.
Your marital vows probably did not include anything about having “no” hidden secrets between the bride and groom. The process of really getting to “know” and “trust” each other takes some time (after the wedding). Your best bet starting today is to be completely honest each and every single day. Far better to be honest with a sincere apology than providing her with years of “half-truths” which catch up to you later in a marriage counselling session. Just a thought.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)