No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Challenge]
Dealing with Frustration
So, what does the love of your life do to really “frustrate you”? By now, she probably knows just what to say or do to “press the right buttons” and get you all worked up. My guess is that she honestly does not desire to aggravate (in a negative way) but to frustrate (in a positive way), mainly to keep your attention and interest.
Said or Done
Most (if not all) marriages seem to run smoother with proactive communication. At times, you may say something which is misunderstood. That should not be a reason to call in the military or any other reinforcements. Please be quick to offer your apology letting your other half know how much you love her and enjoy seeing her smile.
Closely related, you may have done something which did not go over so well. Moving something (or someone) in to the house without her permission is good reason for her to be upset. This will of course cause you serious frustration until you make things right, and she is happy once again.
Perhaps you may have “forgotten” to say or do something important. Now she feels a lack of trust or your unconcern about her feelings. Once again, the apology (honey, I am sorry) is the first place to begin. Later on, the two of you need to calmly discuss whatever is really deep down inside of you and her promoting frustration.
Little Different
Maybe the two of you love birds tend to share different interests. Perhaps in music, where the radio station is changed back and forth regularly. How about sports? Do you root for different (rival) teams? Or, you “live for” football and she practically hates the sport. Definitely times of frustration within these kinds of circumstances.
How about vacation time? Do you both enjoy the beach or the mountains, or do you have to book two different excursions for the time away to be fulfilling? Even then, do you both agree to only go away for the weekend or one full week, or is there division once again?
When she is in the kitchen and seasoning your food to “perfection”, do you criticize her lack of skill? Telling her that she is always using too much or too little salt will bring about a little “frustration” at least from time to time. How about the desired cooking time and level of “doneness”? Is the meat always undercooked or overcooked? Deep down inside, I think she really loves you and doing her best.
Be Considerate
Overlooking moments to say “excuse me” after releasing a loud enough belch (burp) to be measured on the “Richter scale”. This will only add to her frustration intensity, especially if you have already complained in some way of her lack of skills in the kitchen. Remember, your loving wife has committed to sharing her life with you (her knight in shining armor).
If and when you have to work late on occasion, remember to give her a quick call or send a text message (if possible). This courtesy will generally be very much appreciated, helping her to adjust any plans to accommodate. Otherwise, you may only find “cold” leftovers to eat (if that).
Holding back the love and affection she needs and expects is surely encouraging her frustration level to rise. Consider developing a routine that integrates little things throughout the day, like a kiss before leaving for work. Possibly a text message on your lunch break saying you miss her. Even flowers now and then show her how much you really care.
Take a moment and identify what is frustrating you right now. Then lovingly discuss with your bride about how you want to be the best husband possible. Ask what you can do to make things better for her today. Releasing the frustration which both of you carry will require some work, but your marital union is so worth it.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)