No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Tip]
Offering Another Chance
Has you dearly beloved spouse ever said or done something which made you nearly scream, “That is it!!! I have had enough!!! If so, you are not alone. I hope this inspiration will help to bring that rejuvenation in to your marriage. Like taking in a breath of fresh air…
Perhaps this may not be the first time your other half has driven you nearly to the boiling point. Wow, it is so amazing how one thing being said at the wrong time can provoke such frustration while soaring our blood pressure through the roof. Hopefully you are willing to consider taking a short time-out to regroup and gather your thoughts.
Things were said:
Do you even recall what was actually said? She said something, then you replied with a quick answer (unfortunately not to her satisfaction). Maybe you recall her follow-up words, or at least the changing tone in that previously viewed as captivating beautiful voice…
My friend, I want to encourage you with a valuable lesson I have had to learn. What people say and what they mean are often not one and the same (especially when emotions are strong). Please do not ever forget that words are only part of the story. You must listen to her deeper heart-felt meaning. Her frustrations will come out in words, body language, and other means. And please try to forgive her when she really did not mean to hurt you with her words (she was simply just having an awful day).
Once those vicious or discouraging words have left the mouth, we have started the journey from which it is difficult to return. Saying you are sorry may be the best advice I can give (regardless of who may seem to be “at fault”). Just keep it mind that none of us can change the past, but we can all learn from it.
Things were done:
If words are not hurtful enough, poor actions can really bring destruction to any marriage. Have you ever felt like you cannot continue like this for much longer, and something really needs to change very soon?
Probably the worst thing in any marital union is infidelity, not remaining faithful to your life partner. An extremely tense situation may also result in a home with abuse or neglect. These unfortunate realities in some marriages are very difficult to forgive, but not entirely impossible. If your life or her life is at risk, I encourage you to get some outside help (from your pastor or a close friend, if possible). Both of you were born to experience a much grander life, for the Glory of God.
Well as a very “imperfect husband” (saying and doing stupid things from time to time), I am grateful to have married an “imperfect wife” (more in my league than one of those “perfect” ones. Somehow by the grace of God, we have learned to live together under the same roof for more than two decades. As an imperfect couple, we truly rely more so on each other, and forgiveness will often need to come quickly.
New beginnings:
Whether something hurtful was said … or something disappointing was done, I want you to ask yourself one very important question. Are you still “in love”? Hopefully you still see a future with this awesome person (made in the image of God).
Today is a brand-new day. Time for forgiveness should get the healing process in motion. Releasing those hurtful and disappointing memories will probably take some time, but having a healthier marriage is so worth it. Of course, changes will be necessary. Breaking the vicious cycle of saying and doing unacceptable things will be required (if you want your marriage to succeed).
Try to be supportive of the love of your life, no matter what has happened. Patience will be so important, especially as changes for the better take time. As best as you can, release any heart ache to your loving Heavenly Father. Allow His Holy Spirit to lead you to the next level for which you two committed to in the first place.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)