No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Challenge]
Welcoming Contradictory Ideas
So, before having that next “knock-down-drag-out-fight”, let us take a moment to consider how our Awesome God made both HIM and HER (to learn to work together). Marriage should be viewed as the training ground where our Heavenly Father unites one man and one woman to learn how to make the best with what each has to offer.
Completely Different:
Before you tell me that your crazy wife must have come from a different planet, let us look at the value of you and her bringing completely different ideas to the table. Every human being is different, and that should be welcoming (to some extent) within any home.
Working with two completely different ideas about any project may require one spouse obtaining all of their desires, where the other member of the marriage gets no real say at all. That is the worst thing that could happen.
Why not consider a proposal where both the husband and the wife obtain exactly what they each want, without sacrificing anything? Really, why can we not find a way to fuse both his and her ideas? Uniting even extreme opposites together is a challenge worth the potential risk, especially if both husband and wife get what they want and need.
Maybe this approach will take the longest to perfect, but consider the possibility of integrating both hot and cold, lighter and darker, lavish and frugal, bigger and smaller, higher and lower, etc. At least be open-minded to the possibility if you are both strong willed and want to obtain one-hundred-percent of both his and her sets of ideas.
Doing What She Wants:
If you ever get really frustrated, you could just throw in the towel and let her have what she wants. After all, who wants to fight and argue for years and decades? Is it really worth kicking and screaming just to get your say in the matter?
Well, your other half may not really want you to just give up your ideas. She may actually be inspired by how you think and feel, or just enjoy a little “challenge” from you. Seeing things differently within your marriage is good, as long as your love is greater than your disagreement.
So, giving in may not be the best choice. However, if one or both of you are experiencing any health problems seemingly due to this never-ending conflict, maybe you should at least be open to declaring a “cease fire” for now.
Differences Working Together:
Perhaps the best choice is you and your dear wife listening to each other, and looking for areas to integrate and compromise. Why can you not enjoy the benefits of both of your greatest ideas coming together as “one”? Bringing both of your “must haves” in to the equation…
Seeing things with a fresh and new perspective could be very promising. Starting with two different views should not require that only one spouse wins while the other one loses. Being open-minded to hearing the love of your life and offering to support her should offer unity and trust during any time of decision making.
Every now and then, each of us may desire or be willing to try something different. How about that new flavor of ice cream just released? Maybe a twist on a favorite food or beverage? Or even a different color or style of clothing? Even shopping at a different outlet store or eating at a different restaurant could be considered a little adventurous, don’t you think?
If you have “experiencing marital bliss” listed on your bucket list, next to “growing old together”, you may want to begin integrating all of your thoughts and ideas with hers. Learn to identify areas for compromise. In the end, you may both end up getting something far better than either of you ever dreamed.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)