No Husband Left Behind
HIM & HER — Together (on the Same Page)
[Win]
Molding Together
Have you ever noticed how competitive sports can become? Do you and your wife “share” a favorite team? Can you two love-birds even watch a single game together? Have you ever noticed that in sports, every game ends with one “winner” and one “loser”? This should never be how “marriage” is played … both of you should always be the “winners” (there should never be any “losers”).
Let us take a quick moment to consider your differences of opinion. Certain things you will prefer and really enjoy, while completely different things may end up on her preferred list. Our goal within marriage should always include accomplishing both his and her “must haves”, while letting go of those unnecessary (can live without) items. Arguing over trivial things is usually a waste of time. Only important things should be on the table for consideration (and hopefully the approval from both of you).
Conflicts in marriage must be viewed simply as the two opinions not yet brought together with one resolution. While you (husband and master and lord over the home, at least in your own eyes) have great ideas, your main squeeze should have her voice heard and valued as well. What woman does not want to be heard and appreciated? Maybe you should at least hear her out, and see where you can be more supportive…
So, we must begin by making your list. Please encourage your dear spouse to create her own list, so you can better identify how to support her needs. List out everything important to you right now, and focus your attention on the few “must haves” for discussion with your wife. Of course, she will need to do the same thing, before your time of “discussion” begins. By the end of today, you should hopefully have a few things for you and a few things for her which must become “molded together”.
Statistically speaking, not every marriage last until “death do we part”. If you are interested in having better chances with your relationship, perhaps the best advice you could integrate is “the two of you living as one”. Your needs and her needs becoming the primary focus of your marital union. Your personal interests continue, as does hers. Yet, you should be supporting her interests, and allow her to support your own.
Molding together requires a certain level of “compromise”. You will hopefully learn to be okay with not having every single thing to “your” liking (without any input from your dear wife). Both of you should be able to call your residence “home”. A place where she feels valued and appreciated, and so do you.
Once you have both agreed on the final list (both of your “must haves”), consider demonstrating your love by designing a certificate or trophy for your other half. Perhaps she could finally be promoted to “Wife of the Year”. You may even get her excited to nominate you for “Husband of the Year”. Maybe what would be even better is for the two of you to vote unanimously for the “Couple of the Year” award. You may even start a new trend within your church or small group community.
From one who forever remains…
“Under the Shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1),
Shawn Episcopo
Christian Community for Married Men and Women — (Knights) & (Damsels)